"You know, we should have...."
Today D and I cleaned out our room and threw away tons of clothes in preparation of moving our dresser to the older boys room. We are buying my brother's bedroom suite from my parents so they can use the money towards his headstone. While cleaning out the closet we ran across lots of boxes with pictures and papers and just various junk. If we ever need 3 copies of our marriage license we have them and they are now all in one place. Well, in some box in our closet but all together nonetheless.
While looking through pictures D made the comment that we should have stayed in the apartment complex in Dothan when I got pregnant with little D and just moved to a bigger one. My comment was "there are probably lots of things we could have done but we didn't..." Thinking about it though, if we had chosen to do that, things may have been considerably different. Better? Maybe - NO - probably not. Who is to know? We can both count our what-ifs and should-haves in the thousands and most of them would have not led us to each other. I can start my what-if, could-have, should-haves from the day after I graduated highschool. Would my life be all together different? Well, I think so.
To be perfectly honest though, I am glad it isn't. I am glad I chose the roads I did. I am glad I walked down the paths that have crossed me - even the ones that led to heartache, pain and despair. I would not be the person I am today if I had chosen differently. I probably would not have 4 beautiful, wonderful children that I cherish and adore. I probably would not have the strong faith that continues to grow in me each day and I know I would not have the peace I have now. How do I know? Because I am happy. Things don't always go my way but I am happy, I am blessed. My road lately has been rocky, my eyes have shed more than their fair share of tears and my heart has been heavy at times but through it all I continue to pray and thank Him for all that I have been blessed with in this life. He gives me strength even through my not so brilliant choices. He shows me that even at the end of bad choices and awful situations are loving hugs, open hearts, lessons learned and lives enriched.
What might have been? I don't know and honestly, I don't care to! It couldn't possibly be any better.
While looking through pictures D made the comment that we should have stayed in the apartment complex in Dothan when I got pregnant with little D and just moved to a bigger one. My comment was "there are probably lots of things we could have done but we didn't..." Thinking about it though, if we had chosen to do that, things may have been considerably different. Better? Maybe - NO - probably not. Who is to know? We can both count our what-ifs and should-haves in the thousands and most of them would have not led us to each other. I can start my what-if, could-have, should-haves from the day after I graduated highschool. Would my life be all together different? Well, I think so.
To be perfectly honest though, I am glad it isn't. I am glad I chose the roads I did. I am glad I walked down the paths that have crossed me - even the ones that led to heartache, pain and despair. I would not be the person I am today if I had chosen differently. I probably would not have 4 beautiful, wonderful children that I cherish and adore. I probably would not have the strong faith that continues to grow in me each day and I know I would not have the peace I have now. How do I know? Because I am happy. Things don't always go my way but I am happy, I am blessed. My road lately has been rocky, my eyes have shed more than their fair share of tears and my heart has been heavy at times but through it all I continue to pray and thank Him for all that I have been blessed with in this life. He gives me strength even through my not so brilliant choices. He shows me that even at the end of bad choices and awful situations are loving hugs, open hearts, lessons learned and lives enriched.
What might have been? I don't know and honestly, I don't care to! It couldn't possibly be any better.
posted by Tina | 8:36 PM
6 Comments:
This post makes me happy because you sound so content. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look back and say, "things could have been different but they make me who I am so why change them?" ((HUGS)) my friend.
Wonderful post.
Oh this post makes me smile! Thank you!
Nicely put Tina!! I have said the same thing to myself on occassion....especially when I realize things have happened for a reason!!
Thanks for the reminder tho!!!!
(((((((((hugs)))))))))))
what a great post!!!!
This is a beautiful post Tina :). You sound so content, in spite of whats happened recently, and that is reassuring to see. ((Hugs))
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