Watching her sleep...

Forgive me while I drift a bit... I am sitting here and a few feet away from me my precious baby girl is sound asleep. Her little feet crossed at the ankles - her perfect little toes peeking out from the ends of her princess pjs. She is so beautiful, I almost want to cry. I have done so much in my life that I am not proud of and so many more things that I would never want anyone to know about and it makes me wonder... what in this world did I do to deserve this precious little angel? This perfect little one from God. Was she sent to save me? What she sent to remind me what things are most important? She is never far from me. I just can't bear it. Even at night, I sleep as close to her as I can. It is so strange. I don't remember being like this before she came along. I love my children and they are the most important people in my life. I had my boys and they were wonderful and perfect and I could not have ask for anything more. Sometimes, I think, I took for granted that they were around. I didn't realize the special gift I had been given. I didn't think I could love any more than I did when I looked at my three boys. But, he knew, somehow he realized that we were not complete, I was not complete. She came at a most unexpected time and I could not be any more thankful. I smile as I look at her, the sweet little face of pure joy. I don't know what I would be without her. She is making me a better Mother. I better person. She will look to me as an example of how to be a woman. For that reason, I must be sure to be the best person I can. I imagine that in 10 years she will probably not think as much of me as she does now. But I know that that will pass. I doubt she will long to be wrapped in my arms, sit outside the bathroom door whimpering and follow me down the hall wanting attention as she does now. At one time I would have thought that a little annoying... I would have relished the thought of having a few me moments. But they are no longer needed... I don't need any moments that are me - I only need moments that are 'we' - me and my kiddos. I wish she could stay this way for longer than just a year. She is a wonder to me. She brings out the very best in all of us. She brings a smile to her Daddy's face that is reserved only for her. She lights up when her two oldest brothers come into a room and they light up as well. They argue over who get to hold her next. My youngest acts a fool for her and she rewards him with a fit of giggles. There is no jealousy. There are no complaints. Oh, I know there will be as she gets older but right now, we all enjoy her so much. When I married D and had little D, there was something not quite right. It was us and them as far as my older boys were concerned but now we are all Us... and she is a big part of that. She is stirring now and in a bit I will go and cover her up again. Brush her hair out of her face and run my fingers over her tiny little toes. During the night I will wake up several times just to check on her. Tomorrow morning she will wake me with her cries and I will smile. When she throws cereal on the floor, unbobbins all my thread and says "Uhhh - ohhhh" as she pulls dvds out of the entertainment center, I will smile. She brings out the best in all of us and she doesn't even know it. She is truly a blessing for our family. Wonderful, beautiful, perfect... I love her so much. Thank you for believing in me and trusting me and blessing me. I am the luckiest person in the world and it only took one little beautiful face to make me see it. And her face makes me appreciate it all... the tough times, the trying time, my life, my loves and most of all being a Mom to the most intelligent, beautiful, precious children in the world. Thanks for the reminder - I will cherish it always.