Wonderous Worry Worts
A friend posted her 100 wishes for her 100th blog post. I read these with great interest and even more interesting was her inclusion of "I wish I didn't worry so much" or some variation of that statement numerous times. This, of course, gave me pause.
I am a worrier - a chronic worrier, actually. D says the worst part is that I worry most of all about things I can't control. I also worry about things from the past that others have long, long forgotten. But, what if they haven't? What if they think about them everyday? What if my actions from the past are what makes up their current thoughts and feelings about me? (shiver) Ohhhh... that is rough.
To give you an idea, here is one of the things I worry about... when I was 12 some people we knew through pageants came down to ride in a Mardi Gras parade with me. We were living in some apartments at the time so my Mom rented the clubhouse on the complex grounds for them to sleep. Before they came, my Mom and I stocked the place with drinks, munchies, etc for their arrival. Well, the next night while they were there and we were just sitting around talking, I spotted a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the bar. Now, I knew Mom didn't get them when I was with her but I figured she had gotten them that morning when I wasn't with her. So, I opened the box and helped myself to one. No one said anything or even batted an eye. As a matter of fact, I think I ate 2. I am crazy about Krispy Kreme. Well, on the way back home, my Mom told me that THEY had bought the doughnuts for themselves to eat the next morning. She also pointed out that since I ate two, there would not be enough for them! She said that they were probably thinking how rude I was and that she was too shocked to say anything to me while I was doing it! I was crushed. No one told me NOT to eat them - my Mom didn't stop me while I was chowing down on them and the next morning I had the hardest time facing them for our goodbyes. Do you know that TO THIS DAY I worry that they remember that incident and wonder how I could be so stingy and unthoughtful? Now, I realize this is very irrational but it still bothers me.
We don't talk to these people anymore. We don't even live in the same town that they do but I still worry. If I saw them today would they look at my 200 pound frame and think 'Wow, she must have eaten WAY too many doughnuts!' Just typing it out makes me realize how silly it is to think this way but yet, I still do...
And NOW I am worried that all of you reading this will think I am crazy and will go back in your mind to one thing or another that I have done in the past to confirm your thoughts about this! Boy, I think I have lost it. LOL
Ok, now I am worried that I am nuts. Vicious cycle, baby, vicious... ROTFL
I am a worrier - a chronic worrier, actually. D says the worst part is that I worry most of all about things I can't control. I also worry about things from the past that others have long, long forgotten. But, what if they haven't? What if they think about them everyday? What if my actions from the past are what makes up their current thoughts and feelings about me? (shiver) Ohhhh... that is rough.
To give you an idea, here is one of the things I worry about... when I was 12 some people we knew through pageants came down to ride in a Mardi Gras parade with me. We were living in some apartments at the time so my Mom rented the clubhouse on the complex grounds for them to sleep. Before they came, my Mom and I stocked the place with drinks, munchies, etc for their arrival. Well, the next night while they were there and we were just sitting around talking, I spotted a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the bar. Now, I knew Mom didn't get them when I was with her but I figured she had gotten them that morning when I wasn't with her. So, I opened the box and helped myself to one. No one said anything or even batted an eye. As a matter of fact, I think I ate 2. I am crazy about Krispy Kreme. Well, on the way back home, my Mom told me that THEY had bought the doughnuts for themselves to eat the next morning. She also pointed out that since I ate two, there would not be enough for them! She said that they were probably thinking how rude I was and that she was too shocked to say anything to me while I was doing it! I was crushed. No one told me NOT to eat them - my Mom didn't stop me while I was chowing down on them and the next morning I had the hardest time facing them for our goodbyes. Do you know that TO THIS DAY I worry that they remember that incident and wonder how I could be so stingy and unthoughtful? Now, I realize this is very irrational but it still bothers me.
We don't talk to these people anymore. We don't even live in the same town that they do but I still worry. If I saw them today would they look at my 200 pound frame and think 'Wow, she must have eaten WAY too many doughnuts!' Just typing it out makes me realize how silly it is to think this way but yet, I still do...
And NOW I am worried that all of you reading this will think I am crazy and will go back in your mind to one thing or another that I have done in the past to confirm your thoughts about this! Boy, I think I have lost it. LOL
Ok, now I am worried that I am nuts. Vicious cycle, baby, vicious... ROTFL
posted by Tina | 6:00 AM
2 Comments:
(((HUGS)))
(((Hugs))) sweetie. I think we all have worries like that...whether from our present or our past. The things we do make up who we are and just that fact that you are worried about something you did when you were 12 shows what a caring person you are. Just try not to dwell on these things every minute of every day. And you're not nuts, sweetie, just human. (((Hugs)))
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